‘ Is that you all sorted for Christmas then?’ If I, in this season of goodwill, wish to be mischievous and spread misery, despair and panic then I answer ‘Yes!’ to this most irritating of questions, all the while smiling broadly. People (noticeably) ‘go off you’. You might get a very dry, ‘Oh, good for you…’ or, ‘I might have known you’d have everything done!’ or ‘Well, you’ve got nothing else to do with your time….’. I let them wallow briefly before admitting my real situation. Those who know me best say simply, ‘Aye right…pull the other one….’ Continue reading
Month: December 2015
It’s a Rollover…
Now, be honest! Who can truthfully say that they have never asked, implored, or beseeched the Good Lord to let them win The Lottery? Surely it can’t just be me! I have even resorted to a little blackmail: Dear Lord, if you let me win this week, I will see to it that others get a share. You see I’m not remotely greedy, I just want to be the ‘Bringer of Wealth and Joy’ to the world… well the nation….. county?…town?….street?…neighbour? NO ONE PERSON needs a prize of forty seven million pounds but let ME win and I’ll start by making forty six other unsuspecting people, millionaires! I think that is a very reasonable argument. (Some of you, with a maths degree, may have noticed that I am holding onto a million for myself -well giving it ALL away would be quite mad don’t you think?) Continue reading
Backing Down…
I don’t know what I’ve done but it’s obviously been a stretch too far. I have a sore back. I can walk (gingerly)but find it excruciatingly painful to sit down, stand up, laugh, cough or sneeze. I’ve had to cancel two engagements – one involving my weekly lunch date with ‘The Danglers’ – so called because we were all partial to dangling earrings. This little club was founded about fourteen years ago and there have been changes over time. There are many other parts of us now ‘dangling’ so the name is still relevant! Continue reading
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