This little message is for the heartbroken and all singletons who have no expectation of receiving a Valentine.

The teacher was explaining to her P7 class the importance and function of the heart. ‘Basically,’ she said, ‘the heart is a pump.’ On the board she proceeded to draw a diagram of the heart which she then instructed the class to copy into their notebooks. After a period of industrious silence she became aware of stifled laughter and the passing of notes around the room. These she intercepted and put into a drawer before continuing with the lesson. She had to wait till the children had left at lunchtime before reading the notes. She was glad she had waited.  

The first note read :’the head techer gave me a pump to pump tok yestrerday….’

Another note said,’ You are breaking my pump’…and still another, the author of which had obviously had the bright idea in the first place  -‘think of something with ‘heart’ but put in ‘pump’ instead’…….

So, it’s over to you. Think of all the song titles you can containing the word ‘heart’ and substitute ‘pump’. I defy you not to laugh.             

…’I’ll be your sweetpump’…..

…..’I left my pump in San Fransisco’…..

….’Don’t go breaking my pump.’…..